


Silence

by GlassesG33k



Series: Prologue - Book 1 [6]
Category: AU - Fandom, Alternate Universe - Fandom, Stargate - Fandom, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Beckett - Freeform, Bromance, Carson - Freeform, Carson Beckett - Freeform, Embarrassment, Friendship, Friendshipper - Freeform, G33k - Freeform, Glasses, Glasses Geek - Freeform, GlassesG33k - Freeform, John - Freeform, John Sheppard - Freeform, Libertines - Freeform, M&M - Freeform, M/M, Male on Male Romance - Freeform, MxM - Freeform, Romance, Shame, Sheppard - Freeform, Stargate, Stargate Atlantis - Freeform, Vampires, Vamps, friendshipping, geek, self hate, vamp, vampire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 22:06:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/740667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassesG33k/pseuds/GlassesG33k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>If you like this then give it a thumbs up, a like, or what have you.<br/>And if you really like it and want to catch a glimpse of what I have coming up next ( before every one else does ) then contact me, You can be my BETA Reader or my Proof Reader, or maybe even an Editor! ;-D<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>If you want to know what's going on and not be lost I strongly suggest going back and reading the chapters before this one.  (Chapter 1 - Jigsaw Memory, Chapter 2 – Happy,  You&Me, Chapter 3 – Don't Let Me Know, Chapter 4 – Three months Later, )<br/>Thanks =-)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Silence

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this then give it a thumbs up, a like, or what have you.  
> And if you really like it and want to catch a glimpse of what I have coming up next ( before every one else does ) then contact me, You can be my BETA Reader or my Proof Reader, or maybe even an Editor! ;-D  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> If you want to know what's going on and not be lost I strongly suggest going back and reading the chapters before this one. (Chapter 1 - Jigsaw Memory, Chapter 2 – Happy, You&Me, Chapter 3 – Don't Let Me Know, Chapter 4 – Three months Later, )  
> Thanks =-)

John didn't know what to do now, it was too late, he could smell himself on Carson.  
The man had tasted the blood he drank.  
John lay there for a while, after a bit he squirmed getting his arms free. He thread his arms up and grabbed Carson's shoulders. He pushed weakly, once, twice, thrice.  
Carson lifted his head then moved threading his fingers into the back of John's hair. He held John's head as if he were a child, the man was such a bear compared to him He tilted John's head forward and pressed their foreheads together.  
“John ye' … ye' … Oh god John!”  
“I'm not him!”  
They both froze.  
John's eyes went wide, what the hell was-did he just.  
“I'm not him.”  
He heard and felt Carson's legs shift. The man brought his elbows down planting them on either side of John's torso. He lifted himself and looked down into John's eyes.  
“What do ye' mean.”  
“I didn't I'm not.”  
“How so.”  
“I … I didn't. … I don't recall-” John started to shiver, he had no idea where it was coming from. Maybe it was the hell he was in, maybe it was the realization he was about to go to the electric chair in a foreign country.  
Maybe it was the terribleness of finally facing the truth he never wanted to till now.  
It was true when he went out he never recalled what happened and he never wanted too.  
As far as he knew it could be someone else, hell he didn't really know the roads around here and so far everyone killed had been some kind of a rapist or convicted killer anyway. Heck the story wasn't even news worthy till the rich guy who had ripped off so many innocent investors wound up dead in a back alley in town.  
It might have been someone else that had killed all those people. There was no way it was him, or just him.  
Carson shifted again, “John,” he clutched his shoulders now. For an instant the thought shot through John's mind that he was glad homes were not wired with ever present and watching cameras, for he sure as hell would be in danger if such a thing existed.  
They both would be.  
“Do ye' know tha' I love ye' with all me heart, please please John, say the same. Please say ye' love me too and I'll help ye'.”  
“I, I” John reached out and clutched Carson's waist. His fingers tangled in the fabric wringing it in his grasp. “I think I love you Carson.”  
Carson's mouth pressed into a thin line, his face changing.  
John wriggled trying to scoot back, get out from under the man on top of him. “I, I have no way-idea. I if I had known-been able to admit ...”  
They stayed like that, Carson watching him as if he were trying to walk right down into John's mind.  
John didn't know what else to say; really there wasn't anything else he could say. Not at this point.  
“I-I just never allowed myself. Maybe if I had, had known, then ...” he tried to explain,  
After a bit Carson frowned, “John,” he shifted then got up. He grabbed onto John and pulled him up with him.  
“I need ye' te' be entirely honest with me.” Carson clutched tight to him refusing to let go. “Are ye' a Libertine.”  
The two things John had always feared being asked, and it happened in one day, asked by the same man. This was another thing that John had always shoved away, never admitting what he was. His own family had made sure to deny, ignore and then try and make sure he was not a Libertine.  
But unlike gayness they couldn't beat it out of him. It was after murders started happening in the town John lived in after he came back home that his family suspected him.  
Personally John couldn't really recall any of them, the only things he ever did recall were pale skin, so thin and translucent yet with out a drop of color in it.  
It was after his family started picking on him that things went awry, before long there were fights and the next thing John knew he was being kicked out of his own home.  
The life he had once been promised gone.  
He was going to be the head of the family, the one to carry on the name and raise his own farm and children in his parents house. He was no longer the older brother, the one everyone looked to for support. Instead he was shame, “a mess” to ruined to even be talked to by his own siblings. His sisters and brothers had moved out or were barely around except for the few youngest by the time he made it back home. Now John wondered if his own parents had sent them to live with others because he had been back. He realized even back then that he was seen as a threat by his own family.  
“John.” Carson shook him dragging him back to the question he never wanted to be asked.  
“I … I” John worked his mouth, “I don't want to be.” his voice cracked. His eyes stung, of all the things to let out he was letting them all out today; and wailing like a banshee through all of them!  
Yes it was true things were dragged out kicking and John was one of them, kickin', screamin' an' cryin' all the way.  
Like most people when confronted with something they can't face or initially admit John was denying. Somewhere in the back of his brain he was shaking his head no, No, NO! He was still numb in shock and the edges of his vision were white. It was like he was going through a vivid and very physical dream, half out of his body. It would all be over soon enough the back of his mind told him, and he'd be able to resume his life.  
None of this was real …  
Don't worry none of this could possibly be what he thought he was facing right now. He was always thinking it was worse then it was, Carson was just misunderstanding, mis-thinking, all he had to do was correct that wrong line of thought.  
That's all.  
John squirmed and stood disentangling himself.  
Carson stood too, his face slack in shock.  
Apparently he had been in denial also.  
“Here.” Carson grabbed his arm and dragged him into his room.  
“Carson what-”  
“Just gimme a minute.” He growled in a mumble. The man let go of John for a minute. Looking back John would wonder if making a mad dash for it would have changed things. … Still to this day he figured no, it wouldn't have.  
Carson dug around for something, finally coming up with what he was looking for. He got out what looked like one of those scientific burners and his old student med kit.  
“Carson.” John demanded and took a step back.  
“Now don't you go anywhere.” Carson sat the burner down on his night table then started it up. He took out a scalpel and wiped it down. “I can't believe I'm doin' this! I can't believe!-” Carson whined mumbling to himself. He ran the scalpel through the flame rocking back and forth on his bed; he looked like a mad man!  
John took another step back almost out the door.  
“Carson what are ye' doin'?” John put his hands up, readying.  
“They taught us this in medical school. I canna believe I'm having te' do it now. I just can't believe!”  
“Taught you what!?” John stepped out of the room.  
“This is the most dangerous thing! They said never,never-I can't believe!”  
He watched as Carson raced to the bathroom and leaned over the sink. He stuck his tongue out and looked in the mirror.  
“MUPH!” Carson winced and bit his tongue hard as he sliced through the tip of his own flesh.  
John heaved.  
“Oh My GOD! Carson!” he reached forward grabbed Carson's arm, but Carson spun and grabbed him back. Carson wrapped his form around him, grabbed the back of his head!  
“I'm sorry John!”  
That was all the warning he got before Carson was frenching him again.  
John shoved disgusted! He struggled hitting Carson but the man was unrelenting. He sucked on John's corner teeth, first one then the other, then the picked the right one and just went at it. Rubbing his cut right beneath his tooth.  
John squirmed, and tried for a kick, it didn't work! He was still weak as if he were a desert with out rain a few feedings in several months weren't enough to give him the strength he should have had. It would take maybe a life time before that would happen. (Later on John would come to find that wasn't the only reason he was weak, his body unable to recover despite the quite excellent blood he'd had. At that moment though it didn't matter.)  
Carson kept it up, playing with his tooth, holding John tighter, nearly crushing him!  
It was when John gave one last valiant attempt at fleeing that Carson clamped down, his whole form squeezing the air out of John.  
Suddenly his body gave in and responded! His member grew and hardened not to the point of horniness but half way. At the exact same moment his tooth lengthened and hardened, it reached out, sucking into the cut. John couldn't control himself and watched in horror as he suddenly took over. He grabbed Carson the man going weak and limp in his arms. He bit down, the man calling out, that annoying painful whine like always. It angered John and he bit harder sucking for all he was worth.  
He fed, and drank.  
He gulped once, twice, three times. Ahhh yes, this was it. He leaned back and licked the tongue before him, then went in for round two.  
“John!” the whine pierced him.  
“Stop!”  
He looked down, somehow they'd landed on the floor, a tangle of legs.  
He bent forward and felt the flesh struggle, easy just bite-  
“John hear me-it's me!'” There was some kind of noise “I'm Carson!”  
Never before had he been entirely conscious when this happened, but never before had it happened slow enough for him to know what was going on.  
He also had never had only one of his teeth grow before, it was always in unison, he didn't even know it could happen like that. Maybe it was this, maybe it was the fact that it was only one tooth, maybe it was the true love of Carson's voice calling to him, whatever it was John managed to come back to himself.  
He was still half blind, his vision black around the edges. He stilled and shoved back. The body before him clunked hitting the tub by it's side.  
Like all the other corpses some thing in his mind rang calling to him.  
He scoffed and sat back against the toilet.  
They stayed like that for a long time John coming back to himself bit by bit.  
“Holy shit!” Carson's shocked wide eyed stare was boring into him.  
It made John shift.  
“I was told never te' do tha' now I know why.” he went to shove himself up but his arms didn't work. “Everything- it all happened just as they explained.” he laughed, a bit out of it as he tried to get up again. “Even the nerve cells, the neroparaylyzer it's still workin'” he laughed again finally getting himself to sit upright. '”I've-I've never been able te' see medicine work in such-in real life before!”  
John winced and looked over at him.  
He jumped.  
Carson was pale, white as a corpse and his features changed, as though he'd lost muscle mass. On top of this the look on his face, he was terrified trying to joke it all off; make out being brave.  
It hit John just then that Carson thought he was about to be devoured.  
John reached out, “Car-”  
The man jumped, the room shaking (the whole place was cheaply built) he pinched his eyes tight and whimpered shoving himself up tight against the tub. He bent his head shivering like a leaf.  
“Carson I-”  
John saw tears start to roll down the corners of his eyes.  
“I'm not gonna hurt you-I'm sorry Carson!”  
Carson just sat their breathing through his nostrils, his fingers clawing at the tile, steeling himself for round two.  
John frowned then it hit him, “Carson is this what your Dad did-” he saw Carson's whole demeanour change, he bowed his head further his chin hitting his chest. He pinched his eyes so tight John was pained by the sight.  
It was clear he was falling into a flash back.  
John had seen it a few times, on his brother, while he'd had to live with his family for a day here or there; he'd been to war. John had never seen anything like this though, his brothers flash backs weren't as bad; that said something right there he figured.  
John could do nothing but get up and walk away.  
He went down stairs and plopped himself down on one of the kitchen chairs he and Carson had refurbished.  
This was the worst day of his life.  
The back of his mind rang in a sing song, no it wasn't and he should be grateful he was around to go through this; he kicked it, hard.  
After a while he thought he heard Carson weeping up stairs.  
He didn't dare go up though.  
He couldn't take any more, grabbing his coat he left. He walked long and hard not stopping, restless. It was right around day break when he nearly waltzed into a closed bar that he realized how long he'd been awake. It had been a full day and night. He decided then to start back home.  
He didn't get back till morning, but this time it was late morning, right around 10 a.m. or so.  
When he walked in the house was silent and still. He glanced around wondering where Carson was. He went up stairs and didn't find him. Coming back down he looked in the living room, kitchen, then the dinging room the very place where this had all started.  
There was a note on the table, long and in Carson's beautiful well purposed scrawl. 

John,  
Letters are dangerous things and you'll need to burn this after you read it please make sure to do so immediately. Hide the ashes there needs to be no evidence, I'm this scared right now.  
I didn't tell you when you came home but not long before, just last night actually a Constable and that detective came by. They said they were questioning the residents in the area and asked if they could come in.  
They said that from the information they'd gleamed they were sure the killer was frequenting the area, that he might even be from this neighbourhood. They asked me if they could look around and I felt I had no choice and said alright, but I felt obliged and sure of our innocence. They didn't do much just poked around here and there then had a cup of tea. It was all very odd and I wondered if they thought I was the culprit. I made sure to put them right on that; it didn't really work though. They just seemed more suspicious.  
This angered me and I soon had to show them out.  
I'm sure they were watching or listening in last night. I wouldn't be surprised if they set up some kind of surveillance or will very soon. Heck look across the street and see if there's any new cars parked now. 

John looked but he knew they wouldn't be that dumb. More then likely they'd be parked on the street right behind them or maybe even a block or two away. They'd never make it that obvious. John made a note to check the surrounding area as soon as Carson got home. After he'd had a good shower and sleep. He stretched a yawn escaping him and went back to the kitchen table. 

I've decided that the best thing to do is to go down to the station and talk to someone. I'm going to call my family and see if there's anything that can be done in our defence. My brother has better knowledge then me in the law and I'm hoping my sister who still has some of her cash will be able to help with the expense of a defence. 

I just called my brother and he says he can help but there's not much that can be done as far as he knows. He's a right bugger, he always has been. I think he likes the idea of me being turned in, and after all I've done for him. As for my sister I can't get my hands on her, but she has three kids to care for.  
My dad ,  
The paper was a mess there tears or tea, something staining it. It started again.  
My Dad changed into one. Got himself killed. I'm glad. … Is that wrong, to be glad? 

That's it, nothing is working out I'm walking down to the station, the air will clear my head. I'm leaving now it's 9:45 a.m. If you want you can come and talk maybe come with me. I'm taking the-

Carson gave the directions of the way he was going. John raced out of the house, he couldn't let him do this! Carson would be locked up, and John deported then electrocuted!  
Electrocution was touted as the clean, quick more humane way to kill someone. It wasn't in the least, the real reason it was initially used was to kill Vamps. It was thought that electricity was essentially the sun, concentrated and in the hand of man. That people could now control the bright power of the sky. It was found to be something very different but initially it was used to kill those who couldn't die. And when a Vamp was killed like that, well; they didn't go easy.  
A regular human was cooked from the inside out, in about ten to twenty minutes. A Vamp though could take a good two hours at worst, and there'd been stories of the bodies being buried or burned before they were entirely dead.  
John shuddered horrified, his pace picked up significantly despite the state he was in. By now he was past tired, weak, rattled to his core and starving, he fought on though.  
He didn't have to go far, or run for long. Carson had left not five minutes before he got home .  
By the third intersection there was a crowd, John craned his neck there'd been some kind of an accident. He shoved, then went to go around. He caught a high pitched whine-Gasp!  
John made his way to the front of the double decker bus.  
“Carson!”  
He lay a mess … a total mess …  
John heaved, he was grateful his stomach was, by now, more then empty.  
“oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” the whispered chant was coming from somewhere, John didn't know.  
“They won't make it.”  
“I didn't do it!-”  
“He's dyin'!”  
“They can't save him!”  
“I didn't see him!”  
“Don't say that! They can-”  
“He just walked right out under my bus!”  
The crowd was yelling a mess themselves.  
John got shoved to the back, to his shock a man yelling that he was Carson's brother came up. It was then that John decided to fade into the crowd.  
The ambulance came, along with the cops.  
He watched as Carson was cared for then taken away. He went back home, beside himself.


End file.
